Fruits Week Day 2: Watermelon

I think I forgot to link this yesterday, I'm participating in Fruits Week over at Megan Mae Daily. Day two is for the colour palette inspired by watermelon. I just ate some, so now I can post some! To be honest, these tights only lasted as long as the first time I had to pee. I stripped them off and left them in a sweaty heap in the corner of my bathroom.

Tank: Mom'ed (Faded Glory I think? Is that American Walmart?)

Shorts: Joe

Tights: Zellers

Trouser Socks: Payless

Boots: Rocket Dog

Lipstick: Maybeline Coral Crush

I despise shorts for the stark reality that finding a pair that fits and doesn't look weird (because to me these are all kinds of wrong) or feel weird (they feel weird, too) is way too hard for a thick person. Yet, I've worn these twice this week because they're pink. Not just pink, but PINK! I'm pretty sure my thong was hanging out the back all day, which is especially wrong because I took my son to have his picture taken for the newspaper in an art gallery with bunch of old people. He won a writing award, btw. Braggy parenting moment. :) Usually when I'm going to an event of that nature I wear a dress and cover my tattoos, but there was no time for that today. Notice the curly mop head! But this is me, imperfectly perfect and not going to change.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Fruits Week: Day 1: Lemon-Lime

I meant to redo this outfit without the pants because it was better without them by far. I wore this on a day when I really didn't leave the house at all, and when I went to pick the kids up from school I took one step outside and nearly froze to death so I ran back inside and grabbed a pair of pants out of the dryer. I took the pictures when I got home and since I like being accurate, this is what you get. I will wear this again in the future without the jeans underneath and without the crazy turband. It's not ever a combination I would ever go for normally, and this is a bathing suit cover-up and shouldn't really ever be considered a dress but I felt fun in it which is what counts. Fruits Week: Stretching my boundaries and forcing me to try new things even on Day 1!

Turband: Self-made

Cardigan: Old Navy

Tunic: Old Navy

Skinnies: Guess

Shoes: Nine West

Orange shoes because I'm sad that there was no orange day in Fruits Week! I decided to mix them into the lemon/lime day. Or as I've been referring to it: Lima y Limón. That has a beautiful ring to it.

That's all

Twills

XOXO

P!nk

I had a huge head start on Fruits Week last week, and am almost finished with the project other than the posting which I usually do all at once on Sundays. But! Then I bought these shorts on the weekend which are perfect for "Watermelon" so I think I'm going to remix them for Watermelon day and just post my original watermelon-inspired outfit tomorrow or something. It's just a little strange; though I love short skirts, these short shorts are creeping me out!

Don't know what I'm talking about with Fruits Week? Click!

Shirt: Old Navy

Shorts: Joe

Shoes: Nine West

Bracelet: Gifted from the six year old

I feel like all of a sudden my life has gone technicolour. Heck, next time I might even try to wear everything I own that's bright at the exact same time. I'm curious as to how that would look. We shall see.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Rapture This!

This was the outfit I wore for the impending rapture. Instead of being raptured though, I took the kids to what is loosely being termed, "Motorsports Madness". Dirt bike races, demolition derby, mud wrestling, debauchery... We tried to stay away from the debauchery and ended up watching the rest of the hockey game from underneath a picnic shelter. A car caught on fire within the last few minutes of a very exciting game, which I didn't notice until I realised that I was the only one jumping up and screaming my head off when Tampa Bay Lightning won. I may be "prissy" as my sister likes to tease, but sporting events make me turn into a belching, heckling, arse scratching, expletive-screaming super fan.

Dress: Gifted (sister)

Tank: Calvin Klein

Hat: Joe

Gladiators: American Eagle for Payless

I realise that I am essentially wearing what could be construed as a straw cowboy hat, but I fit right in with the locals and I don't like it when I get too freckly in the summer so I wear hats in the sun. My parents gave me some weird mix of brown(ish) skin + my redheaded father's freckles, so I blame them. This was also my first outing for these sandals, because you know if you're thinking that you might meet Jesus that day, it helps if you and he are wearing the same shoes.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Pin-up

This outfit was very "me". This is my favourite colour combination even if it is "matchy-matchy". It's the combo I use in my official capacity as "Roller Derby Ref Girl", since my skates are red and they're an expensive accessory to change on a whim. I felt like I wanted to be "seen" in this, but in reality I just wore it to the grocery store and to pick up the kids. I fit right in amongst the other moms in their sweats and khakis. Okay, not really.

Included for the LOLZ:

Since when did I start looking like I wished I had my own portable wind machine?

Dress: Old Navy

Belt: George

Shoes: Seychelles

Bracelet: Thrifted

Ring: Babydaddy

Necklace: Etsy

Bra: Um... Oops?

Red shoes make me deliriously happy.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

On the Prowl

I wore this when I went out for lunch with my cousin and saw her new baby for the first time. When I arrived she told me I looked like a cougar, so I told her that of course I was wearing my uniform since I'd just been out trolling for dates outside of the local high school. I'm very impressed at my milf skillz, that I can still chase my four year old, her two year old, and carry her baby all while wearing these shoes. Not at the same time, mind you. I'm not Super Milf or anything, I just act the part!

Shirt: Thrifted

Skirt: Joe

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

I thrifted this black silk shirt with princess sleeves when it was one dollar per bag day at the thrift store in the next village over. I hadn't been there since high school, since it's in the same village which I don't go to often, but I popped in while getting my snow tires changed over to my all-seasons. I love the idea of thrifting for various reasons, especially environmental, but I never seem to get the chance to do much of it because shopping with children attached to me is tricky. That, and they can't seem to stop molesting the mannequins! So I'm so glad that I made such a score this day and bragging about it makes me feel even better. The cost per wear on this blouse right now is like 10 cents and it's my first time wearing it.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Pants Envy

I am pretty much obsessed with this girl's pants, Krystal from This Time Tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I hate pants! I hate that I am too tall for regular length but when I get long length I either have to wear hella tall shoes or have them hemmed and I procrastinate way too much for that mess.

But these pants are blue! Electric blue! They're short on purpose! I know she bought them from Asos but I'm obsessed with finding pants this colour in real life so that I can try them on. I live in the middle of nowhere so driving for a few hours either way to find them is no big deal if I just knew where exactly to get them...

Has anyone seen pants like this in person? If so, where? Won't you enable my pants envy? Driving to San Francisco to steal this blogger's pants is just not an option right now, especially since I'd only be able to wear hers as a hand puppet. :P Help a sister out!

Find me some pants.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Depraved Sheep

My son and I wanted to take these pictures in front of these weird murals they have near the arena where I go to roller derby practice because this is the first time I've worn this dress. I bought it during the first day of my 30 for 30 because I was in Old Navy and noticed that it cost only $3.50 because it had a broken belt loop, which I don't use anyway because I'm too tall for the rest of the world's pre-prescribed waist level! So there! :P We flew from the mother's day family function at my grandmother's nursing home to derby and we were a little early so mischief ensued.

On her:

Dress: Old Navy $3.50

Booties: American Eagle

Bracelets: randomness

On him:

Hat: Fox

Shirt: MMA, Grandma'ed

Shorts: Old Navy

Socks: Fruit of the Loom

Shoes: Nike

Handsomeness: His Mama ;)

It was a little awkward when a bunch of my teammates started driving in right past me at the same time as the camera was going off. I'm still trying to keep my blogging life a secret for the most part and am still so awkward with taking pics outside. And someone please remind me to take pics before driving in the car for an hour. I judge other people for their wrinkly clothes and I am no exception! (I'm judging you. Yes, YOU!)

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Orange is Not the New Pink

This outfit was boring except for the orange shoes so I decided to show you my purse and also to tie this scarf on myself. My ten year old told me I looked weird, but he's lucky that I wasn't wearing it as a shirt like I was earlier that day until I realised that it was making me look like I had weird crotch-area tassels. Also, I mention the words crotch and vagina far too much for a blog about clothes.

Tank: Calvin Klein

Skirt: Old Navy $2!

Scarf: Ardene

Shoes: Nine West

Purse: XOXO

Gold & reptile bracelets: thrifted

Apparently not into smiling much this day, although I did have fun while wearing this! The two brightest things I own at the exact same time. I am going to have to remix them into Fruits Week!

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Copy Cat

I was pretty much copying this chick when I got dressed on this day, except that I couldn't find my black summer hat and didn't want to do the black fedora again, and all my pictures turned out squinty because it was too freaking bright. And! Welcome to another forlorn part of the outside of my house! You've seen the basement door, so now you can see the door to the back porch!

Nobody needs to see that many squinty wrinkles unless it's a before and after botox ad!

Dress: Old Navy

Purse: Aldo

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

Bracelet: goblin-made. I mean child-made!

My four year old is obsessed with trying to get me to wear this dress, but then he was mad at me because I wasn't wearing pretty shoes. I told him that I had to wear flat shoes when we walked to pick up his brothers from school, but he was still mad at me until he convinced me to put on red lipstick. Red lipstick is the answer to many of the world's major problems!

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

You Look Fruity!

First of all, click here.

So, I'm going to be taking part in Fruits Week. This is going to be hard for me, and I might whine about it but when it's over I know I'll think it had been fun. I hope you'll join me?

Here's the rundown, and also for my own reference:

Does anyone else want to get fruity? Please contact Megan Mae!

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Friday!

Blogger is actually working now? I've been needing to catch up with my Google Reader something fierce! It's been two days!

I'm just stopping in quickly, as the sun is shining and the weather is fine. :) Have a great weekend, friends!

T-shirt: Joe

Tank: Danskin

Pants: Old Navy

Shoes: Airwalk

Necklace, watch: Etsy

I'm being modest here and wearing a tank underneath my burnout tee. I usually don't. No more, "Mom! I can see your bra!"

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Flouncy

I felt all flouncy and twirly in this outfit. I've worn all these items before on this blog except for the shoes, but it felt like a good remix. Hence the posturing.

All items Old Navy except the belt from Joe.

Zero cropping and fixing the lighting in Picnic today, friends. Forgive?

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Cupcake and Crossbones

I keep meaning to show a close-up of this necklace, but I haven't yet. I took this picture with my Blackberry in December so it's not quite clear but you can get the general idea. I almost had something of this nature tattooed on myself (without my name--not quite that narcissistic yet), but I thought I'd like to test drive it in a non-permanent way first. So I discovered this etsy shop through Hillary and was sold!

I love the idea of being able to tell someone what you have in mind and have them make something that's so perfect for you without even knowing them at all. This artist nailed it perfectly! When people ask me where I got my necklace I tell them, "It was custom made!" in a snobby way but I don't tell them that it was really a great price.

So go to Orangeyredink on etsy! For anyone who loves "tattoo style" without wanting to be tattooed or to risk looking like Ed Hardy threw up on that Snooki Monster, this is a safe bet.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Maxi + Stompers

This is the only long skirt/dress item I own, and I never wear it. I just hate maxi dresses! I always feel enormous in them, or even worse: pregnant. I know it helps a little that I'm an even six feet tall in these shoes but the only other time I've worn this dress is when I've let the cleave bust out with my red lacy bra. Of course when I add a touch of skank to the mix I feel a lot more comfortable. Maybe I'll get this vagina dress from F21? (Which I secretly loved before it was pointed out that it looks like ladybits)

I suck hard at this whole self-timer thing. I get five shots, and this is what usually happens:

Finally in the middle, and now we're done!

Except for this silliness:

Dress, jacket, scarf: Old Navy

Tank: Calvin Klein

Shoes: Betsey Johnson

The boy child told me that I would only look pretty if my dress were pink; then he made me have a mustache but at least I got the tiara!

That's all,

Twills

XOXO